TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
