dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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