actually, I'm a sock model
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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