I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
