oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
