Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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