she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
