And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
