Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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