I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
