I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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