To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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