he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
