i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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