I am in a vortex of obligation.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
