Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
