My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
