): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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