anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize