listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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