then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
