Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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