I'm really into asian looking animals
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
