If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
