Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
