how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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