i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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