I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
