Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
