I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
