a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
