do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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