She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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