We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
