Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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