we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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