He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
