Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
