can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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