I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
