she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
