You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
