shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
