hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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