Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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