I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize