2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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