I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize