Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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