My hand turned me down
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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