Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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