Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
