dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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