dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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