Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize