So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
