and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
