New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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