My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize