Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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