Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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