Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
