Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just found a bag of teeth...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
