Your tits are I can't wait for
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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