WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
